Chicken Nugget Chicken Parmesean

I used to prefer baking...I would live for creating a new doughnut, cookie, brownie...and decorating cakes.

Then everyone started doing it and I decided it would probably be a good time to learn to cook.

And then I didn't because I got busy with being pregnant and eating food other people made. Alright, I wasn't busy.

Sometimes though EVERYONE, even the gourmet cooks need a quick dinner for their kids, or in my case, my dad and brother. They were hungry and I like taking things that are in the house and throwing them together.

BAM! (as Emril would say)

The chicken nugget chicken parmesean was born.

3 ingredients...that's it! It's the perfect college dinner, kids dinner, way to impress someone equally as lazy as you in the kitchen?

1. Frozen Chicken Nuggets- ANY brand, I used Costco brand because they're taking over the world.
2. Red sauce- Marinara was used but you can use chunky stuff, just don't expect to fool your children with the chunks.
3. Shredded Mozzarella...you can shred it yourself but if you did then you would be failing at this recipe because you're SUPPOSED to be lazy. Get the already shredded shit, what are you trying to prove?

Step one: Line those frozen nuggets on a cookie sheet, in a pan or whatever...make sure they're touching. Bake according to the directions but subtract about 2 minutes. MAKE SURE THEY ARE CRISPY (important)

Step two: Take those nuggets out of the oven and spoon or pour sauce on top (i like to spoon because I'm a controlling sauce nazi)

Step three: Add that shredded cheese and pop it back in the oven...put them in for 5-7 minutes or until the cheese melts and bubbles.

Look...it's sophisticated chicken nuggets.

Serve with a salad and red wine like a cab or a nice merlot, don't pair this with white wine...don't be a redneck.

P.S. This also works with meatless nuggets and vegan cheese for our vegan friends.

The side of motherhood no one tells you about

If someone had told me that one day I would be home alone and what could only be described as a shit explosion would occur...I don't know if I would have ever let myself be alone.

Yes, I've heard of "level 10 back shit" the phenomenon that most mothers and fathers experience at one point or another but no one ever told me that one day I would be sticking my child in a plastic grocery bag because his legs were completely covered in what I now call...Spinach Rejection.

Jack won't be getting spinach within 24 hours of my being alone. My parent's kitchen sink will no longer be the same. He LOVED the sprayer on his undercarriage...I am not surprised since he is a man in training and apparently already a pervert at the ripe age of 5.5 months old. Why now? Why haven't I experienced this before? Is this a rite of passage?

Let's just go with it.

There is a lot of stuff that surprised me about motherhood...not all sewage smelling, some surprises were really good. For example, no one told me about the love you have for your child even though they're a little wrinkly Sumo man the first time you see them. He's MY wrinkly Sumo man. I've got a lot to learn about him though...like, why OH WHY does he not sleep when he's tired? He's not missing anything. When he wakes up the house STILL will be messy and mommy will STILL be in her pajamas, get over it and close your eyes you little punk.

Our babies are tough...they're solid and they're perfect and can never do any wrong (okay, we'll get over that one day MAYBE). There is nothing more beautiful and peaceful than your sleeping baby. Their innocence is almost painful because you know that one day they'll grow up to be the cynical, people hating son of a bitch that you are. You could TELL them not to trust anyone but that makes you an asshole and you don't want them going around telling their friends that you're an asshole because then who the hell are you going to practice all those pinterest cookie and cupcake recipes you're pinning right now (when they are babies) for that specific reason?

When my son brings friends home from school you aren't going to see me microwaving a box of tostinos pizza rolls...those things taste like chemicals and eggs that were left out in the texan sun. Those kids are going to walk in, mama is going to have a plate filled with cupcakes that look like boobies and some non alcoholic martinis...just kidding. I'd have no problem dealing with the consequences of being the towns coolest mom, they're just jealous anyway.

But in all seriousness...people try to mentally prepare you for sleepless nights, smelly diapers and the expensive 18 years you just signed your sucker-ass up for but NO ONE and I mean NO ONE can prepare you for how your heart sinks when you see your baby sick. No one can tell you how amazing it is to see your husband/boyfriend/fiance/partner hold your child for the first time (and every other time after that) No one tells you that teething is most likely going to be more painful for you than childbirth.

I've come to terms with the fact that for a long long time i'll have to have a child with me in the bathroom or make it a prison length shower. I've come to terms with the fact that i won't be able to poop alone for a while and I'll most likely be singing to my son to keep him occupied. Motherhood is messy, smelly, tiring and intense but the happiness, pride and smiles from our boy trump that EVERY SINGLE DAY. I wouldn't trade it for the world...but I wouldn't go all 19 kids and counting or anything. ;)

What do YOU love most about being a mommy or daddy?